And just by exsisting on the internet we did attract. I was founder and the collegue was the webmaster (back when you needed that type of thing). It was lovely.īackground: we were actually a voluntry organsiation for a particular form of benefit advice. I had a colleague who was originally from France, and she gave me a little hamper with produce from her family place. Now I'm thinking about that Christmas more, my Secret Santa gift that year was actually a really good one. In hindsight, the whole company was toxic from the top down, it was a fucking car crash but it was (mostly) a fun place to work and make a load of money when I was fresh out of school.Įdit. I can only assume there was some sort of settlement. The strangest part of the above, Jane left the company shortly after, and Ken stayed on. I never did figure out if Ken was an actual psycho or just had a really weird and inappropriate sense of humour. The picture was the front of Jane's house, taken from bushes across the road. It's obvious to everyone the message is from Ken, who is at this point stood grinning like the cheshire cat, but we didn't learn until later why this was quite so bad as it was. On the back it says, " I'll show you intimidation, see you soon, love santa." Random colleague picks up the present and in the box with the dildo is a Polaroid. I didn't know if she was going to burst into tears or rip his face off. Then Jane just drops the box and shoots a look at Ken. Some of the girls say God, I wish I'd got that. There's lots of surprised faces, a few giggles. Imagine everyone's surprise when Jane opens her gift, and it's an all singing, all dancing, top of the range dildo. Remember, the budget for this was a tenner. So we get to the morning of the Christmas party, the entire floor is gathered around opening these presents. In the weeks leading up to this, there had been an altercation in a meeting where Jane had accused Ken of crossing a line and physically intimidating her during an argument. Most people buy some beers or a self stirring mug or similar. Now, it's the run up to Christmas and the whole company is doing secret Santa. Needless to say, Ken and Jane fucking hated each other.Įvery single time they had a business need to deal with one another, they ended up in a vicious argument and HR had to calm everything down. She had plenty of experience and was really pushing for us to be more corporate. She represented the more sensible side of the business. There was another sales manager, I'll call her Jane. He's managing a little team, and his sales figures are right up there with the best. We even had an HR department by this point.ĭespite his expletive rant about fucking Daves mum, Ken stayed with the company and is doing pretty well for himself. It still isn't very professional but it's a bit less like a frat house than it used to be. Okay, so this one takes place a few years later. They replied and simply said 'unsubscribe' The client must have been accidentally cc'd in. It wasn't funny, and it was way too far for a workplace email. then he goes into graphic detail about how he's going to fuck Daves mother, then he talked about fucking his dad, digging his Grandma up. He sends a big rant about how it won't be as warm as Daves mum's pussy after he's finished fucking it. Ken, for reasons I have never figured out, goes batshit at this and hits reply all. This one is warm and I'm sure even you can land it.ĭave copied in a lot of people in the office, I guess to try and look cool for having a little dig at Ken. Let's call that manager Dave.ĭave was a bit sarcastic with the lead email but nothing outrageous. In fact there was an incident a few years later for secret santa that probably should have done.Īnyway, so Ken gets an email from another team manager with a lead. Ken was a top grade dickhead, he was a walking HR lawsuit waiting to happen. They complimented each other and so it was common to pass leads between teams. I don't want to name the exact place, but for example, one team might be selling forklifts and another shelving. We all had different products but operated in the same industry. It was a dwarf toss away from the wolf of wall street. I used to work in sales and the place was ruthless.
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